It's been ages since i've ever needed a title on my blogpost at tumblr since i repost pictures all the time. Almost half of the A levels is overrr for me :D however, chem was as screwed and weird as everyone can't stop complaining how ridiculous it is, but whatever the case lah.. tsk!
As i was studying, i always get distracted by myself, be it thinking about post-exam activities or self-reflection of my own being.
i was thinking of how it is like to have someone u once looked up to so much, someone that you respected so much could change as u grow, and u grow to see them in a different light? should i say, it's a "it's human afterall" thing? I guess i shld accept that fact that humans deep down are still humans, and they DO have another side that remain unseen when it shouldn't be.
Another issue that bugged me to a certain extent was about my leadership throughout the years.
An image of the incident that occured when i first stepped my ldrship post back in xm was etched in my head. Although things got better after that, it still remain a scar that constantly remind myself that i need to brush up my interpersonal skills. it sucks, that sometimes i feel really scared of failure if i attempted a leadership role of great power. In the short year of ldrship, i will give myself an honest judgement, that i'm not a bad leader... but defnitely i cannot be considered a good one. Perhaps, average would suffice.
I would really want to continue playing perc! it's has been an essential part of my life the past 6 years. Although i know that everyone in a band would like to enjoy that, some will have to take up the Saikang post so that the band can continue to function. Hopefully things would work out...? And i would be more than willing to help out as an assistant/ saikang-er, but not the "decision-maker". So stress can LOL. so ya, we shall see after As.i tink all of us (whoever there will be) can do something great and successful together :D
Then, as i moved on to jc band and assumed the treasurer post. it wasn't an easy job, but the job has been made easier with help from the teachers for their understanding, the section for helping me count money and showing loads of support, waiting for me so that they can eat (i know they are damn hungry), and the comm for ya, tolerating with my stinginess in controlling the budget and late-coming funds. it was a really fun experience in handling the money. But it was such a horrible ordeal when i know i have made mistakes unintentionally that could have brought about more great returns to the band. i mean, sian leh. i take it very personally when i make mistakes cause the impact doesn't influence me, but the fact tht it affects the functionality of the band/ affect others.
But of coz, i understand that i've tried my best, really. And there's no regrets! i should take the opportunity and push my management abilities to a higher level so that things would not screw up.
+ i need to learn stress management, nt to expect too much and take things in my stride.
edited; just realised i have slogged my post-concert time away shifting instruments for YEARS. what a life of the percussionists (and those that helped too yay) :/ i could still remember our tired and chui faces when we reached back to tj... packing instruments, loading up and down the lorry, adhereing t the time constraints, pack our belongings... omg. why so packed T-T
